Happy Thanksgiving from OMFG!
This is how pumpkin pie is made:
Thoughts we all have sometimes:
-----I wish Google Maps had an "Avoid Ghetto" routing option.
-----I don't understand the purpose of the line, "I don't need to drink to have fun." Great, no one does. But why start a fire with flint and sticks when they've invented the lighter.
----Have you ever been walking down the street and realized that you're going in the complete opposite direction of where you are supposed to be going? But instead of just turning a 180 and walking back in the direction from which you came, you have to first do something like check your watch or phone or make a grand arm gesture and mutter to yourself to ensure that no one in the surrounding area thinks you're crazy by randomly switching directions on the sidewalk.
----Is it just me, or are 80% of the people in the "people you may know" feature on Facebook people that I do know, but I deliberately choose not to be friends with?
----Do you remember when you were a kid, playing Nintendo and it wouldn't work? You take the cartridge out, blow in it and that would magically fix the problem. Every kid in America did that, but how did we all know how to fix the problem? There was no internet or message boards or FAQ's. We just figured it out. Today's kids are soft.
----There is a great need for sarcasm font.
----Sometimes, I'll watch a movie that I watched when I was younger and suddenly realize I had no idea what the f was going on when I first saw it.
----I would rather try to carry 10 plastic grocery bags in each hand than take 2 trips to bring my groceries in.
----The only time I look forward to a red light is when I'm trying to finish a text.
---- Lol has gone from meaning, "laugh out loud" to "I have nothing else to say"
----Whenever someone says "I'm not book smart, but I'm street smart", all I hear is "I'm not real smart, but I'm imaginary smart".
----How many times is it appropriate to say "What?" before you just nod and smile because you still didn't hear what they said?
----I love the sense of camaraderie when an entire line of cars teams up to prevent a dick from cutting in at the front. Stay strong, brothers!
----Every time I have to spell a word over the phone using 'as in' examples, I will undoubtedly draw a blank and sound like a complete idiot. Today I had to spell my boss's last name to an attorney and said "Yes that's G as in...(10 second lapse)..ummm...Goonies"
----MapQuest really needs to start their directions on #5. Pretty sure I know how to get out of my neighborhood.
----Obituaries would be a lot more interesting if they told you how the person died.
----I find it hard to believe there are actually people who get in the shower first and THEN turn on the water.
----Shirts get dirty. Underwear gets dirty. Pants? Pants never get dirty & you can wear them forever.
----Bad decisions make good stories
----Whenever I'm Facebook stalking someone and I find out that their profile is public I feel like a kid on Christmas morning who just got the Red Ryder BB gun that I always wanted. 546 pictures? Don't mind if I do!
----Why is it that during an ice-breaker, when the whole room has to go around and say their name and where they are from, I get so incredibly nervous? Like I know my name, I know where I'm from, this shouldn't be a problem....
----You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment at work when you've made up your mind that you just aren't doing anything productive for the rest of the day.
----Can we all just agree to ignore whatever comes after DVDs? I don't want to have to restart my collection.
----There's no worse feeling than that millisecond you're sure you are going to die after leaning your chair back a little too far.
----I'm always slightly terrified when I exit out of Word and it asks me if I want to save any changes to my ten page research paper that I swear I did not make any changes to.
----"Do not machine wash or tumble dry" means I will never wash this ever.
----As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
----Sometimes I'll look down at my watch 3 consecutive times and still not know what time it is.
----It should probably be called Unplanned Parenthood.
----I keep some people's phone numbers in my phone just so I know not to answer when they call.
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